Sandwich of the BreakFast Kind

If there is one thing I know, it’s sandwiches. That is one thing that I could never get tired of making, eating, or even just looking at pictures of all the live long day. Why? I don’t know, and don’t really care. All I know is that sandwiches are awesome. There are copious amounts of ways to make them too.  When it comes to making a meal, I would prefer it to be between bread or wrapped up in a tortilla. Call me lazy but, I’ll tell you what, it’s easier to just eat a sandwich than have to use chopsticks or dirty up a fork. Also, if you ever need to get out of jam and want to take your food on the run, then a sandwich is your best option. They are a bit tricky to eat while driving though…just like trying to eat a crunchy taco while driving, that’s a rookie mistake and a fool’s errand.  One bite and that fucking taco shell is cracked in two, your lap looks like a taco salad, and now you’re distracted with your mistake and not paying attention to the road. 

Next thing you know you got one hand wiping off your lap and the other on the wheel steering through traffic… all the while the song “Saturday” by Ludacris is blasting out the speakers. Thus… making it hard to hear the horn of the semi-truck alerting you to MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!

In the last final seconds you jerk the wheel to the right causing you to fly off a ramp like you’re Clark Griswold in Vacation. Lesson learned kids, don’t eat a crunchy taco while driving, sandwiches are safer.

 Which brings us to today.  The Breakfast Sandwich that would make even the crankiest co-worker shut their pie hole for one second to give it a try. BUT FIRST COFFEE. Make a big steaming pot of COFFEE.  Basically I just took all the breakfast fixings I had in the fridge and made something special. Remember my post Chicken Club Con Queso ? The main theme for that was to use what you already have in the fridge and create something rather than going to the store and spending more money on food you don’t really need. LISTEN TO YOUR FRIDGE. There are ingredients in there that you can make something with. DISCLAIMER: there’s a slim chance that there is probably NO WAY you can make something out of nothing because A: there’s literally nothing in there. Or B: you have a craving for something so bad that no matter what’s in the fridge, it won’t suffice. You GOTS to get your Chipotle on. No shame in that game.  

In this case, I was really in the mood for something along the lines of a ‘Moons Over My Hammy” that you would find at Denny’s. What is a Moons Over My Hammy you ask?! It's only one of the best drunk foods you can order! Take a gander at this:

If I lived a tad bit closer to one and actually felt like putting on pants, that might have gone down that day. However, that sandwich is best during Fourth Meal while you still got a little buzz going on. It’s

also good sober, but again, pants. I really, really

wanted to avoid putting on pants and actually being

a part of society. I wasn’t in the mood to go out and

possibly be put in the situation of a “Stop and Chat” with someone I know.

All the usual suspects are there: EGGS, HASH BROWNS, BACON, WHITE TOAST & HOLLANDAISE Sauce. That’s right, this ain’t no eggs benedict. But I put it on there anyways because I knew it would taste awesome and every sandwich needs a condiment. A bone dry sandwich is seriously a crime. And I know there are people out there that aren’t fans of mayo, mustard, special sauce, whatever. For once, I would actually recommend that you dig down deep and find that eat pray love side of you and put some damn mayo on your burger. 

Timing is what you want on your side if you want to actually eat it hot. 

You can still enjoy it cold, but cold eggs personally make me 

dry heave, so this had to go down as a hot b-fast sandie. 

I made the hollandaise sauce first, because it’s

the most complicated part of this whole process.

I just had a packet laying around and followed

the instructions on the back. It was one of those

packets you can buy individually at the store.

Much like taco seasoning. Again, if you’re going to make tacos or are going through the drive thru, get a soft shell ( tortilla ), not crunchy. 

Once the sauce is done, you can at least keep it on low heat and continuously stir it so it doesn’t burn.  I then made the bacon next. As we all know, once bacon is done cooking, it’s still hot from the grease sometimes that is still cooking it as it sits. 

Hash Browns are followed, because those don’t take long and demand a lot of attention so you don’t burn them. Eggs and Toast can follow. The amount of time that it takes to make toast is about the same time it takes to make a few scrambled eggs. I chose to make scrambled eggs because I wasn’t in the mood to have the yolk and the hollandaise sauce all in one place. You can choose what order to put them all on the toast, that part I could give a shit less about. If you want to stop there, that’s, cool. I put it back on the grill for a bit as a sandwich to marry them all together between the toast.  If you so choose, add cheese to this culinary marvel. MIND YOU, that the depending  on the cheese, the hollandaise sauce might not mesh well with melted cheese.

I wish I had some Tapatio or some hot sauce around to add to this. That would have added a little more flavor to the hollandaise sauce and given it that extra kick. Usually I always have some Taco Bell hot sauce in a drawer for emergencies. You know the drawer I speak of. The drawer that screams bachelor pad. You can also find packets of other condiments from other main stream fast food restaurants in there.  These drawers exist because NO ONE, especially people living on a Mini Fridge budget, likes to waste their cash on condiments. It’s right up there with having to pay for toilet paper and paper towels. They’re necessary to have, but son of a bitch, you rather have that money for other things. 

So the main point here to remember is, it's always a great idea to turn your breakfast into a sandwich and don't eat crunchy tacos while driving.